


Thicker Than Water

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Incest, M/M, sorry - Freeform, the other boys aren't even mentioned, this is kinda all just smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 04:54:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3434297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis likes his older cousin, Harry. Harry doesn't seem to like him, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thicker Than Water

**Author's Note:**

> Um... Yeah. You know how these things go. 
> 
> I haven't edited this yet. I'll do it in the morning. Peace out.

Louis had been in the closet for a while now. Literally. He had been locked in the closet of his cousin’s bedroom for just over an hour, and with every passing second Louis was in more and more danger of peeing himself. He really needed the toilet, like really, really needed the toilet. Busying himself with shifting his weight from foot to foot in a mindless jig, Louis banged on the closet door once more in a desperate, and almost hopeless, attempt to free himself from the tiny space that smelt overpoweringly like body odor. He briefly wondered if his parents were worried about his whereabouts, before remembering who his parents are and quickly brushed the thought from his mind. They probably couldn’t hear him from downstairs, and undoubtedly wouldn’t care even if they could. 

Louis’ eyes had long ago adjusted to the darkness, but there wasn’t much to see. Just a bunch of unwashed football jerseys and jeans with mysterious stains on them. It was gross. Boys are gross. Louis wasn’t entirely sure where his cousin’s hate for him had stemmed from, after all, Chris and him were pretty close as kid since they were the same age, born a few months apart and all that. If he had to put his finger on a specific date though, Louis would have to say it started when he had accidently kissed one of Chris’ friends when he was 12. Which is ridiculous really, since they were playing spin the bottle, and isn’t that kind of the point? So, Louis was clocking up two years of torture from a kid whose mannerism was way to similar to his father’s to be healthy. 

Not for the first time since having landed himself in the closet, Louis plotted his cousin’s death. He was pretty sure he could make it look like an accident; an unfortunate trip down the stairs or an accidental shove in front of a bus. Who locks their cousin in a wardrobe, anyway? 

Christopher, that’s fucking who. 

Groaning in defeat, Louis pressed his forehead against the closet door. Then, came the faint sound of a voice and Louis held his breath, hoping (praying), it wasn’t his cousin.

“Hello?” The voice asked tentatively, and Louis breathed out a sigh of relief, banging his fist on the door. Shortly, the metallic click of a key in a lock sounded and the wardrobe door was being yanked open. The light assaulted Louis’ eyes, and he had to squint past the glare to see his savior. 

“Harry!” He laughed, stumbling out of the closet and wrapping the boy into a thankful hug. Harry let himself be hugged, but didn’t reciprocate said hug, with one hand still on the door and the other hanging limp by his side. Harry was never much of a hugger, at least not a Louis-hugger. 

“Louis,” He said skeptically, and Louis took a step back, respecting his new hero’s need for space, “What were you doing in the closet?” Harry spoke slowly, as if trying to piece the scene in front of him together in his head. 

“Your stupid brother put me in there.” Louis replied shortly, crossing his arms and pouting in a way that was sure to be childish. And although Harry was three years older than Chris and himself, Louis always liked him better. He was sweet and considerate and genuine and fucking hot, but Louis chooses to ignore that last one because Harry is his cousin and that’s gross. 

Realization swarmed the older boy’s face quickly followed by an expression that resembled pity, “I’m so sorry Louis. Chris is such a douche. Are you alright?” 

Louis held his hand up to Harry’s face, “Hold that thought. I really need to pee.” He said with unmatched seriousness before rushing to the shared bathroom between Chris and Harry’s rooms. Louis retuned a minute later with an empty bladder and a relieved smile. Harry was sitting on the edge of his brother’s bed with his hands in his lap and his eyes glued to the floor. Louis joined him on the bed and shot his cousin a huge grin, Harry barely looked up. 

“Thanks for saving me.” Louis nudged his shoulder into Harry’s and he watched as a small smile quirked at his lips. 

“You’re welcome.” Harry met Louis’ eyes, his smile growing until it was smeared over his face. It was an amazing smile; one Louis rarely got to see. Harry never really seemed happy, which is a shame of course because he could just flash that smile in a crowd and there would only be the sound of underwear dropping. “You have to admire the irony, though.”

“The irony?” Louis questioned, hoping to keep the conversation going because Harry and Louis were never alone together, they never got to talk without having to navigate through the minefield that is Christopher. It was nice. 

“You _came out of the closet,_ ” Harry gestured to the wardrobe and Louis couldn’t help the cackle of laughter that bubbled out of his throat,

“I have no idea that you’re talking about.” Louis shot Harry a wink and both boys erupted in a wave of giggles. Louis had come out when he was 12, around the same time that he had kissed Chris’ friend, and it wasn’t a secret, all of the family knew and some of Louis’ close friends too. 

“You’re braver than I am.” Louis snapped a look at Harry, his smile had died and he was once again looking at the carpeted floor. Although Harry was 17 and Louis was just pushing 14, Harry never looked more like a child than he did in that moment. It was weird. But, Louis wasn’t entirely sure it was a bad-weird. 

“You’re gay?” Louis asked, being as nonchalant as he could, trying not to squeal with excitement at the potential of having a family member that he could actually relate to. It was almost too much. There was a long pause where no one said anything, Harry stared at the floor and played with his fingers and Louis bit his lip to hold in the million things that wanted to come busting out. He knew he couldn’t push this. He put the question out there, now it was Harry’s choice to do whatever he wanted with it. Harry didn’t answer, however, instead getting to his feet and brushing off his jeans and Louis is going to respect his silence. His silence will be respected, god dammit!

“So, you’re not gay?” Louis finds himself asking, jumping off the bed to stand next to Harry. His hair masks his eyes, but Louis thinks that they’re closed, but he’s not sure if its in an effort to block Louis out or if he’s trying to find words to explain something to him. It turns out to be the latter,

“I… I don’t know.” Harry’s voice is so quiet, Louis thinks he may have imagined it, “I mean, I don’t really like girls… but I don’t like boys, either. It’s just one person.” Louis was suddenly excited, he didn’t know why he was excited, but he was ready to jump out of his skin and run around the room screaming. But instead he says,

“Tell me about them, I’m sure it will help to talk about it.” He donned his most understanding expression as he waited for Harry to tell him to shut up. 

“He’s um… younger than I am,” 

“Oh, nice!” Louis interjected, trying to keep the mood light, but secretly relishing in the fact that the ‘one person’ Harry was pinning over was a ‘he’. Harry’s eyes found him and gave him a small and grateful smile before continuing. 

“He’s really funny. And he’s drop-dead gorgeous.” Harry made a sound somewhere between relief and distress as he tipped his head back on his shoulders. Louis tried not to stare at the long exposed column of his neck, eyes fixated on the bob of his Adam’s apple. Some things just cannot be helped. 

“What does he look like?” Louis ventured, lacing his fingers together in front of him, trying his best to stop checking out his cousin. His _older_ cousin. His _questioning-his-sexuality_ cousin. His _hot-as-fuck cousin._

“He has amazing blue eyes, and brown hair… But it doesn’t matter, it could never happen. He’d never be with me. ” Harry searched Louis’ face, seemingly looking for answers; Louis just smiled in his most supportive manner. After it was obvious Harry wasn’t going to elaborate, Louis added,

“Do you want my advice?” It was rhetorical, but Harry nodded anyway, “The next time you’re alone with this boy, just lean over and snog his face off.” Louis cracked a smile as Harry breathed out a laugh. Maybe Louis wasn’t the best at handling these sort of situations seriously, so what? Harry seemed to relax a little and that was enough for Louis.

Louis took advantage of their little bonding moment to pull Harry into a hug (cousins hug, right?). He wrapped his arms around Harry slender waist, praying to god that what he was doing wasn’t weird and wouldn’t make Harry want nothing to do with him ever again. It took a second of Louis holding his breath, but Harry leaned down to link his arms over Louis’ shoulders, sighing into the embrace. They stood there. Wrapped in each other, Louis unable to smell anything but Harry and Harry probably getting a mouthful of Louis’ hair, but it was nice. It was safe. The minutes stretched out and neither of them moved away, Harry had tightened his grip on Louis and Louis rested his cheek on Harry’s chest. Their little bubble of happiness was shattered, however, when Chis’ bedroom door was flung open and there, in the doorway, stood the devil himself. 

“What the fuck?” Chris’ voice was shrill, and almost comedic. Louis would have laughed if Harry hadn’t pushed him away the moment he heard his brother enter the room. Chris sauntered in, a look of disgust colouring his features, and looking the two boys up and down, his judgment already clearly formed. “Don’t tell me you’ve caught _the gay.”_

Chris laughed at his terrible joke, and Louis looked over to where Harry was grinding his teeth together, obviously shooting daggers at his little brother. “I guess I’ll have to find a new place to hide you.” Louis folded his arms, unimpressed, and was about to say something sassy in response when –

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Both Louis and Chris’ eyes snapped to where Harry was standing. The eldest boy took a step towards his brother, reaching out a hand and taking a tight grip on Chris’ jaw, “ You think you’re being a “man” by being a homophobic twat? Well, I’ve got news for you kiddo, Louis is our family and as much as you may hate it, it doesn’t change that fact in the slightest. If you no longer want to be part of this family, I’d be more than happy to show Dad your secret weed stash and not even blink when he kicks you out of the house. You’re never going to lay another fucking finger on Louis. Do you understand me?” Louis doubted Harry had ever spoken to Chris like that. In fact, he doubted Harry had ever spoken to anyone like that and going by Chris’ expression, Louis was sure he was right. 

Chris tried to pull his face out of Harry’s fingers, nodding his head quickly with eyes wide and mouth agape. Louis was totally going to give Harry a high five later. With one last huff at his brother, Harry let go of Chris and turned to Louis, stalking towards him with furious intent (and if Louis wasn’t his cousin, he’d admit it was kind of hot), taking his forearm and pulling Louis after him into the bathroom that joined the two brother’s bedrooms. Louis let himself be led through the small tiled room and into Harry’s larger bedroom, catching a quick glance of Chris’ still shocked face before Harry was slamming the door behind them. 

He let go of Louis’ arm, his hands flying up to run through his hair in distress. Louis was shocked, to say the least. He watched silently as Harry pulled at the roots of his hair, kicking the base of his bed, all the while not daring to turn and look Louis in the eye. Listening to Harry curse under his breath, Louis took a step away from the door and towards his cousin, reaching out a hand to steady on Harry’s arm. The older boy jumped at the contact, pushing off Louis’ hand and flinching away, but Louis placed his hand gently at Harry’s wrist. 

“Harry,” Louis said, his voice barely louder than a whisper. Harry’s eyes finally met Louis’, green and glassy, sad and invigorated. “Thank you.” There was a second where Louis and Harry just looked at each other, letting the weightiness of Louis’ words sink in and saturate the atmosphere. Then, as if zapped by some invisible charge, Harry rushed forward, wrapping a hand around the back of Louis’ neck and guiding his mouth to his own. 

Louis stumbled back under the weight of Harry, his back hitting the bedroom door and his hands reaching out to steady himself. Harry’s knee slid between Louis’ thighs as he held him down in place, his hand still placed securely around his neck and the other gripping to his waist. Louis didn’t know how to react, but he found when Harry started to pull away, he chased his lips with his own. 

“Fuck.” Harry cursed, low and deep. Louis stared up at him with large eyes, watching his frowning face, his eyes clenches shut and his brow worried. “Fuck!” He repeated louder, taking hand off Louis’ neck and slamming it into the door behind him. 

Louis flinched as the sound reverberated through his chest, trying his hardest to keep his cool, but not being able to stop the trembling of his knees and the nerves prickling at his stomach. Was this one of the weirdest things to have ever happened to him? Probably. Was it also one of the hottest things he’s ever been apart of? Definitely. Rationality battled with hormones as Louis stood completely still; not even blinking when Harry rested his forehead against his own, his eyes still screwed shut.

Their bodies were flush against one another’s and Louis’ fingers itched at his sides to reach out a grab Harry as soon ad he decided to move away. Which was now, apparently. Harry took a step back, sighing lowly and opening his eyes to survey Louis watching him in nervous anticipation. 

“I’m– I’m sorry.” Harry shook his head slightly and turned away, “Maybe… Maybe you should go.” 

Louis wanted to say no, but his chest felt like it was filling up with smoke and he was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe, let alone talk. Instead, he found his fingers reaching out, seeking Harry’s wrist. Harry flinched at the contact, obviously not expecting it, his head snapping in Louis’ direction, eyes wide and face confused. Louis stepped in front of him, not letting go of his wrist and trying a reassuring smile. 

“I don’t want to,” His voice was scratchy with something he himself couldn’t recognize, “I want to stay here.” 

Harry looked like he may start crying, which you know, would suck, because Louis is usually putting on the waterworks, not dealing with them. So, guided by some invisible force of determination, Louis lent up on his tippy-toes, standing at eye level with his cousin, “I want to stay here with you.” 

Then, very gently, as if not to scare Harry back into the shell he’d lived in the past 14 years, Louis shut his eyes and closed the gap between their mouths. This time, Harry was the one who didn’t react, standing statue-still as Louis brushed his lips over his. It was calmer than when Harry had tried it, sweeter. And although Louis’ fingers quivered at Harry’s wrist and his knees were one second away from turning into jelly, it was nice. Harry’s brain only seemed to kick into gear and comprehend what was happening when Louis went to step back, sliding his arm around Louis waist, keeping him close and pushing their mouths back together.

This time, Louis opened his lips under the pressure, letting go of his wrist and wrapping his arms up around Harry’s neck. Harry’s own arms tightened at his waist, taking most of Louis’ weight and almost picking him up off the ground as he changed the angle of the kiss. Their teeth clicked together and Louis tried not to smile at Harry’s haste as he slipped his tongue into Louis’ waiting mouth. If Louis had ever thought Harry was hot before this moment he was wrong, Harry pushing himself down onto Louis with his tongue exploring his mouth and whimpering so softly was by far the hottest thing he had ever experienced. There wasn’t much to compare it to, however, since Louis was only 14 and there aren’t really any other openly gay kids at school he could experiment on, but still. 

Harry’s hands started to roam, his large fingers stretching out over the expanse of Louis bum, squeezing his handful and drawing Louis in closer. Louis’ own fingers found themselves tangling into Harry’s hair, tugging at the curls at the base of his skull. Encouraged, Harry’s mouth left his in a long drag of their lips before they attached themselves to the hairless skin of Louis’ jaw less than a second later. His kisses traveled downwards, pausing over Louis’ pulse point to suck a bruise into the sensitive skin. It was going to be hard to explain that later, but at the moment Louis couldn’t bring himself to mind. 

Louis skin prickled all over because Harry’s mouth was so hot warm and insistent, his own mouth hanging open slightly, a rush incoherent sounds falling form his lips when Harry’s teeth sunk into a particularly sensitive patch of skin. Harry’s hands kneaded at Louis’ bum, rocking him up to meet his own hips and oh god. He’s hard. Harry is hard. Harry is hard for Louis. Harry is hard for Louis and is currently rubbing said hardness over Louis’ rapidly swelling dick. _Fuck._ Louis momentarily forgot how to breathe as Harry’s tongue left his collarbone and licked a stripe across his bottom lip, looking down at Louis almost hungrily. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” His breath is hot over Louis’ face and he tried his hardest not to melt into a puddle when Harry reached up to brush a few strands of his tussled hair out of Louis’ eyes. Louis breath came out erratically as a nervous smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. Its hard to think when Harry is this close to him, one arm still looped around his back and the other hand stroking gently at his cheek. He might actually start hyperventilating soon. 

Instead of answering, mainly because he doesn’t trust his voice when he’s in this state, Louis pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek, feeling his dimple curve under his lips as he smiled. Then, he kisses the corner of his mouth, lingering there for a moment before kissing him properly. 

Harry’s hands worked their way up the back of Louis’ shirt, the pads of his fingers pressing into the flushed skin, lingering just above the waistband of his jeans. He stopped there, and Louis knew that he’s waiting for permission. Louis’ suddenly reminded that he is small and inexperienced and he’s so nervous that he’s going disappoint Harry. It’s all so overwhelming. He wants Harry to touch him, _fuck._ But he’s so scared at the same time. What if this is all just some elaborate prank Chris has set up and he got Harry in on it? Louis honestly wouldn’t put it past his cousin to do something like that. He finds himself pulling back, 

“Harry,” He starts, looking up at the boy cradling him in his arms and he almost chokes on his words. Because his fringe is tousled around his sharp-angled face and Louis’ never seen his cheeks flushed such a beautiful pink and he’s staring at Louis with glass eyes, shuddering breaths and kiss-swollen lips parted. He wants Harry to absolutely ruin him. It’s possible Louis is going to die from the sheer force of need that is radiating out of his chest. 

“Tell me what you want.” Harry’s breath ghosts over Louis’ cheeks and he nibbled at his lip worriedly. Without his permission Louis’ eyes dart over to the bed pushed up against the wall before returning back to Harry’s intense stare. The older boy followed his gaze, turning to Louis with his eyebrow raised and a smirk pulling his lips, “Bed?” Harry supplied and Louis’ insides have positively turned into mush. 

It wasn’t too late. He could stop this. Could step back from Harry and tell him to never speak of it ever again… But he’d already come this far hasn’t he? What would be wrong with taking one more step forward? In the dark corner of his mind a voice screamed, _Everything. Everything would be wrong with it,_ but Harry was so, so pretty and his semi was still pressing into his leg and Louis knew there was no turning back even if he tried. Nodding quickly, Louis refused to meet Harry’s eyes. That was, until Harry’s hands scooped up under his legs, lifting him off the ground. Startled, and rather turned on at how easily Harry could lift his weight, Louis wrapped his legs around his waist to stop himself from falling, but not being able to stop the squeak that escaped his mouth. 

Harry’s lips found his once again and Louis found himself craving the taste of his mouth. It was like something Louis never knew he was missing, but now he had it, had tasted it, it was impossible to give up. It was addicting. The rush of excitement, and fear of getting caught, it was exhilarating. Louis’ heart was pounding against his ribs as Harry lowered him down onto the mattress, his thighs falling to accommodate Harry’s narrow hips. This was real. This was real and this was happening and Harry’s weight on top of his body only concreted that _oh my god this is happening!_

“Lou,” Harry’s tried, disconnecting their mouths long enough to utter the words. “Tell me what you want…”

“I…” Louis’ voice cracked and he takes a deep breath, a long string of words tumbling from the exhale. “I want– I want you to touch me. I want your hands on me... God your hands.” Louis’ fingers thread with Harry’s as if to emphasize his point, “Want you to use your fingers…” Louis trails off and his eyes widen because he can’t believe he’s just said that and he feels like he might want to leave the country or perhaps the planet. Mars is nice this time of year, right?

Harry doesn’t seem as humiliated, however, looking down at Louis with glassy green eyes, watching him hungrily. Then, suddenly, Harry’s hips snap forward, rocking into Louis’ clothes erection and eliciting a surprised yelp. He watched Harry with wide eyes as he repeats the motion, his breath hot and tickling as he leans down, his lips brushing the shell of Louis’ ear. 

“I want to be _inside you._ Ugh, I think about it so much, _fuck…_ Think about you when I do it… when I do it with anyone, I think about you every time I come… I want to make you come–unn…fuck–” Louis feels dizzy and everything is blurring and all that’s left is Harry – Harry so so hard in top of him and Harry is wanting to do all of those things to Louis and fuck.

“Please,” Louis manages to rasp before sucking Harry’s tongue into his mouth and sliding his hands up the back of Harry’s shirt. He can feel his muscles flex under his palms, his fingers latching onto Harry’s shoulder blades when Harry give a particularly hard rut. 

Harry’s own enormous hand is snaking up Louis’ side, rucking his shirt around his armpits as he licks his way further into Louis’ mouth. Less than a second later, Harry’s weight eases off Louis’ chest and he instantly misses it. He looks up to see Harry ripping his own shirt over his head before reaching down to do the same to Louis’, only this time he smiles sweetly, making sure Louis doesn’t get hurt as he removes the material. Both their shirts are lay on the floor and now its fever-hot skin on fever-hot skin and Louis might come in his pants just form the feeling of Harry’s naked chest rub up against his own. But that would be super embarrassing, and Louis has decided he’s embarrassed himself enough as it is, so he juts up to meet Harry’s crotch and doesn’t let himself come. 

Harry’s fingers are back at the waistband of Louis’ jeans, but he doesn’t go further, and its so frustrating because Louis really wishes that he would. He knows he’s being cautious and respectful, but _fuck._ Taking matters into his own hands (literally), Louis pushed Harry’s hand further down, gasping into his mouth as his fingers slide past the belt loops and _shit._ Louis suddenly remembers he’s not wearing any underwear. Harry doesn’t seem to mind, though, smoothing his palms over the curve of Louis’ arse. He squeezes each cheek roughly and Louis whimpers and rocks back into Harry’s hands.

“Can I take these off?”

Louis nods so fast he thinks he hears his neck crack. He needs to calm down and stop looking so fucking eager. 

“Hips up, love,” Harry whispers and watches with dark eyes. Louis can feel his face heat up further at the term of endearment. He does what he’s told and Harry slides black fabric down Louis’ curvy legs. Once his jeans join their shirts on the floor, Harry takes a moment to stare at the boy looking up at him. Feeling very self conscious of his nakedness and the state of his cock flushed and thick and curving up over his belly, already leaking all over his stomach, Louis reaches down to cover himself. Harry’s hands shell Louis’ smaller ones and he pulls his hands away, smiling down at him genuinely,

“You’re beautiful.” Louis tries not to roll his eyes, because that easy for someone to say when they’ve still got their pants on. But then Harry’s kissing down Louis’ chest, words vibrating against his sternum. He slides his tongue over one of Louis’ nipples and it makes his back arch in a way it never has before, his cock is pressed hotly against the fabric of Harry’s pants and the choked sound he makes is barely human. His lungs are sure to give out at this rate.

Harry’s hands are warm on his skin and he doesn’t want him to let go, but he can’t stand Harry being clothed a second longer. He pulls at the band of Harry’s pants, pushing them low past his hips until he gets the message. Pressing one last kiss to Louis’ forehead, Harry slides off the bed. Louis watches as Harry’s fingers work over his zipper as his eyes work over Louis. He’s pulls off his jeans and Louis is laid out, lean and bare, bleeding molten gold onto stark white sheets. His eyes are wide and glossed over like blown glass and his mouth is slack and Louis’ hand reaches down to start pumping his cock slowly, his fingers hand working over himself while he stares.

“Harry…” Louis’ voice is hoarse and wanting and impatient. Harry kicks the material off his ankles and clambers back onto the bed, jostling Louis in his haste. Giggling quietly, Louis grabs at the back of Harry’s neck, smiling into the kiss and he feels Harry do the same.

“H-Harry, please–” his sentence breaks off in a drawn-out, breathy moan when Harry wraps a hand around his cock, stroking him slowly, almost languidly. His breathing quickens, though, at the feeling of Harry, hot and slick against his dick. It’s intoxicating. Harry is intoxicating.

Louis whines and tries to buck up into Harry’s fist, but Harry stilled him with one hand to the curve of his left hip. His hand leaves Louis’ cock and he slips both around to grip his bum, spreading both cheeks slightly. Louis inhales sharply.

He tries not to moan as Harry spreads his cheeks a little wider, brushes a finger over his hole. Unable to stop it, Louis makes a sound sort of like a squeak, at that, and Harry’s hands move up to the curve of his, tracing gentle circles there. Comforting. 

Harry must know that Louis’ a virgin, with his inexperienced mouth and sloppy technique, it wouldn’t be hard to guess. And Harry is being so careful with him, so gentle, silently asking permission before proceeding, making sure he wants this. Hit with a wave of emotion, the type the makes your eyes prickle, Louis leans up and kisses him softly. He pours everything into that kiss, he hope Harry understands. Understands that he trusts him, that he’s willing and allowing this to happen, that he _wants_ this to happen more than anything.

Harry doesn’t say anything, but he gets it, reaching up to his bedside table to pull out some supplies and Louis thanks every deity to have given Harry such abnormally long limbs as he doesn’t have to physically remove himself from Louis’ chest to reach the drawers. Louis busies himself with sucking bruises into the column of Harry’s neck, running his tongue over the skin and tasting the sweat-salt. He can hear Harry’s breath hitch as he bites down before quickly licking over the mark to soothe it, but he misses the sound of Harry popping the cap of the lube and Louis gets the fright of his life when he feels Harry’s slippery finger brush against his hole.

Harry shushes him with a gentle kiss as he circles his finger around the ring of muscles. Louis had only ever tried this once or twice before, but it hurt a little (a lot) and he’d not been able to get the angle right, so it was just a mess of frustration and lube, but when Harry’s fingertip presses against the resistance of his fluttering entrance. Louis wants it. He wants it so bad. 

Harry nudges his index finger against Louis’ rim and pushes in slowly, just past the first knuckle, whispering reassurances that Louis can’t really hear because he’s too busy trying not to wince from the feeling. His body clenches around Harry’s finger as he slides further in until he can’t go any further. Louis tries to focus on his breathing, but its coming out erratic and he doesn’t want Harry to see him like this, so nervous and slightly pained. Harry kisses him. He kisses his forehead, his nose, his chin, his cheeks, his lips, his eyelids, anywhere he can reach from his spot in between Louis’ thighs. Louis knows it’s a distraction, he does. But it’s a welcome one. Especially when Harry starts to pump his finger in and out, curving at the first knuckle, but unable to find what he’s looking for. Until he does. 

A breathy moan rips itself from Louis’ chest and Harry smirk above him, pushing forward to hit the exact same spot. Louis holds tightly to Harry’s biceps, rocking with the bed as Harry pushes further and further, the pain making way for the most amazing pleasure. 

He adds a second finger, then a third, and Louis’ eyes widen. It’s so good. Sosososogood. Louis is fucking Harry’s fingers shamelessly now, circling his hips and squeezing his thighs around Harry’s, and he can barely breathe, he needs Harry to be inside him. Harry takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he pulls him in for a messy kiss. 

“Ready, baby?” Louis tried not to scream his reply as Harry brushes against his prostate for the trillionth time. Louis nods against the pillows, not trusting his voice, his fingernails digging crescent shapes into Harry’s arms. 

Harry reaches behind himself to grab the small foil square he’s thrown there before and ripping it open with his teeth. Louis watches with short breath as Harry rolls the condom down his length and for a fleeting second Louis’ mind screams _HOW IS ALL THAT GOING TO FIT IN ME?_ But its gone a second later when Harry leans back over him and catches his lips in a kiss. The head of his slickened cock nudges as Louis’ hole as Harry stokes comforting patters along his ribcage.

“We’ll take it slow… I promise.” He must be able to feel Louis’ lips trembling against his own and his heart knocking against his ribcage, because not only is Louis about to lose his virginity, he about to give it to his cousin – signed, sealed and delivered. 

Louis whimpers softly as Harry positions himself lower of Louis body, the head just brushing his rim. Louis holds his breath and fixes his gaze on Harry as the older boy sinks down, slowly. Louis can feel his expression change into one of pain and Harry kisses his jaw, but it does little to ease the discomfort. By the time Harry has pushes all the way in, Louis eyes are scrunched shut and his mouth is hanging open 

“Jesus, Lou,” Harry hisses through his teeth, waiting for Louis to adjust to the stretch. Louis feels ripped from one end to the other, but he takes a deep breath and tries to relax around Harry’s cock. But everything is blurring and he feels sort of like he’s drowning but it’s the most wonderful sensation and he can’t decide if he wants it to end or not.

Harry shifts again and Louis can tell it must be hard to wait for him to get used to the feeling, so he experimentally shifts his hips. It seems to be enough for Harry to slowly draw out before carefully pushing back in, kissing Louis’ nose as he does. One of his hands snake between them to wrap his fingers around Louis’ length, tugging in time to his thrusts. He slowly builds up a rhythm, rocking his hips down to snap against Louis’ again and again.

Louis grips at his shoulder blades as Harry pulls out halfway, only to thrust back into him roughly. He must’ve hit the right spot because Louis’ cock spurts pre-come onto his stomach as white light flashes behind his eyes. His breathy moans sound almost pornographic in the quiet room, even to himself and he wraps his legs around Harry’s back, pulling him closer with his linked heals. He knows he’s not going to last long, with Harry’s cock nudging against his prostate and his thumb pressing into his slit. He can’t bring himself to be embarrassed about it though.

“Oh my God, Harry, fuuuuuck. Feels so good. ,” Louis manages to choke out between his chorus of _ah ah ahs._ His thighs are shaking and he sounds like he’s about to cry. “Close baby?” He mouths at Louis’ neck, his thrusts slightly more erratic but still so, so good.

“Yeah. Yes… Fuck. So… so close.”

Harry slams into prostate one last time and Louis clenched around him, coming with a sob, his back arching off the bed and his vision burning white, thick white ribbons painting his stomach and chest, all the way up to his collarbones. Harry fucked him through it, his mouth pressed to his own to muffle the ragged moan that ripped itself from Louis’ throat. His legs fall like jelly to his sides, but his fingernails stay clamped into Harry’s back, scratching red stripes down his shoulders and whimpering softly as Harry chases his own orgasm. Louis watches as his face screws and his muscles clench, toeing on the edge,

“Hey, Harry,” Louis’ hand comes up to bracket Harry’s strong jaw, “look at me.” He doesn’t know why he wanted Harry to look at him, but it was _all_ he wanted in that moment. Harry’s eyes unscrewed and his blown out pupils meet Louis’ as he continued to slam into Louis’ sensitive hole, his breath ragged and sweat beading on his forehead. He was so beautiful. So incredibly beautiful. With his hand still places gently at his jaw Louis gave him a private smile, the smile he always seem to reserve for Harry. One that said ‘I’m happy to see you even if you’re not happy to see me, I know you exist and I want to talk to you, if you’d let me’. And just like that, with a guttural moan, Harry was spilling into the condom. His thrust turned sloppy as he struggled to keep his weight from crushing Louis, his arms shaking with the force of it. 

They lay still for a moment, Louis stroking Harry’s sweaty curls with numb fingers as Harry nuzzles closer into Louis’ neck. His dick has started to soften and it was becoming uncomfortable, the dull ache setting in, but Louis didn’t want to ruin this perfect moment, and pressed a light kiss to Harry’s temple. They come down eventually, and when Harry slips out of Louis gently there’s his fucking come dripping down Louis’ thighs and it feels gross and it makes Louis squirm. Harry appears in his line of vision a second later, brushing hair back from Louis’ forehead and smiling down at him apologetically. 

“How are you feeling?” Louis wants to laugh, really he does, but the thinks if he moves then he might split in half and that’s not a risk he’s willing to take. 

“Sore.” He says instead, watching Harry’s face twist in concern and adds, “but happy.” Harry smiles brightly, pressing a kiss to Louis’ bruised lips.

“How about we clean you up, yeah? Can’t send you home looking like that.” Louis looks down to where his come has started to dry on his stomach and no. They absolutely cannot send him home like that, but he also can’t move without feeling like he’s been ripped a new arsehole… so, he just lays there and watches as Harry clambers over him, kissing him as he goes. He slips on some briefs and disappears into the bathroom, and Louis watches his bum as he goes; no longer having to pull himself up on it and smiling at the revelation. Eventually, Louis shuffles himself into a semi-seated position, but not without a lot of wincing and whispered curse words so Harry won’t hear. 

Harry reappears to the sound of water running and he looks over Louis sympathetically. He crawls back onto the bed to kiss Louis’ nose, which is stupidly endearing.

“What do we think about walking?” He asks sweetly, threading his fingers’ with Louis, marvelling at the tangled digits, not seeming to be able to full grasp that this was happening, and Louis could honestly say he felt the same. 

“Not favourable.” Louis replied dryly, face softening as Harry pushed his lips along Louis’ knuckles. Harry nodded, but Louis doubted he was actually listening. He was so caught up in their hands, that Louis just had to kiss him. He just had to. So, he did. Nothing more than a long slow drag of lips and a reassuring squeeze of his fingers. Then suddenly, without warning, Louis felt Harry’s arm slide around his back and the other scoop up under his knees, pulling him up to his chest. 

Louis squealed laughter as Harry picked him up bridal-style, his hands looping behind Harry’s neck, holding on tightly. Harry smiled down at him adoringly and Louis would have rolled his eyes if it weren’t for the fact he was looking back up at Harry with the exact same expression. He carried Louis the bathroom, placing him carefully in the bathtub. The water was warm and comforting, coming halfway up Louis’ thigh. Harry left him for a second as he jumped up to close (and lock) both of the doors before taking his seat next to the bath with cloth in hand.

“Want bubbles?” Harry asked as if it was an afterthought, flicking his fingers into the slowly filling tub. Louis scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest,

“Um. Of course.” Harry laughed as he reached behind him to pull a bottle of bubble bath out of one of the bathroom cupboards and dropping a few capfulls of the strawberry smelling liquid into the water. Bubbles instantly started to form around Louis’ legs and he couldn’t help but feel a little excited. He loved bubble baths. 

He scooped up a handful of the white fluffy mess and blew it in Harry’s direction. Harry smiled and dipped the cloth into the bathwater before beginning to clean away some of the dried come that reached Louis’ collarbones,

“I can do that myself, you know.” Louis informed him, scooping up another lot of bubbled.

“Yeah, but do you want to do it yourself?” Harry looked at him knowingly and… maybe he knew Louis a lot better than he thought. 

“No.” Harry nodded to prove his point and set about cleaning off more of the spunk. It was quiet fro a while, but it was comfortable. Louis could feel the burn of his bum slowly seeping away and get replaced by warm contentment. He’s been so caught up in his happy little bubble, he hadn’t realised Harry’s face had gone serious and he’d stopped his ministrations. 

“Louis,” Louis looks up from where he was drawing patterns in the suds,

“Yeah,” He smiled, but this time Harry didn’t return it and something prickled at Louis’ stomach. 

“You know we can never tell anyone about this, right?” Louis watched him carefully. He seemed almost desperate, almost begging.

“Yeah, I know.” Harry nodded, more to himself than to Louis and continued wiping Louis’ chest, “We could elope,” Louis smiled and this time, Harry did too. “I doubt our family would notice.”

“That’s true.” Harry shrugged, but didn’t say anything else on the matter. There was silence and then,

“Harry, why do you never want to hang out with me? Why was it always Chris and I lumped together while you sat quietly in the corner?” Louis can’t bring himself to look into Harry’s eyes. 

“Because I was afraid I would have done that.” Harry gestures to Louis’ stomach and he tries to smile. Harry’s hand cups at his jaw a second later, his fingers warm and wet and Louis is forced to meet his gaze, “I was afraid to get close to you and freak you out. I never wanted that, Louis. I wish it could have been me you shared all of those memories with, but when you’re 13 and you think you have feelings for your 10 year old cousin… I thought it was best that I distanced myself. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just…” He trails off, breaking eye contact to search the bathwater for what he was trying to say. 

“I really like you, Louis. If you couldn’t already tell. And, yeah we’re cousins so no one can find out and yeah you’re 14 and will probably hate me when your 30, but right now, you’re all I want. I just really hope I can be what you want.” Louis had stopped breathing sometime ago, but he didn’t realise until he inhaled a large gulp of air. 

“I do–” Louis choked out, taking Harry’s larger hand in his and holding it tightly, “I do want you… And I’ll never hate you. Please don’t say that.” 

Harry’s smile was watery and he sniffled slightly as he left forward to press his lips to Louis’, still holding his onto hand like a lifeline. It was going to be okay, they were going to be okay. They’d figure it out, because now they had each other and they were okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if i'm able to write non-incesty things anymore. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME


End file.
